Given the popularity of Friends (and the plethora of similar shows), it's a bit of a mystery to me that we live such socially scattered lives. That's not to say that most of us don't have a LOT of people in our lives. (Especially if you count our "friends" on Facebook!) But not all relationships are created equal. Some are "all business". Some are primarily focused on activity and just having fun. But it's the, up-close-and-personal relationships, with people who take the time to share our inner lives, that are sources of emotional nourishment and energy. These are the kind of relationships we deeply long to experience - because it is this kind of relationship for which we were made.
To live in consistent, day-to-day, soul filling relationship - with people who know what I had for dinner (because they were there, not because they read it on Facebook!) - has been the cry of my heart for as long as I can remember. I long for relationship with people who will make spending time with me a priority. People who will laugh with me and weep with me. People who appreciate my strengths, and are patient with my weaknesses. People who listen intently when I talk about things that matter to me. People who are honest with me when they're hurt or upset by my actions (or inaction), but who choose to believe the best about my heart and intentions, and are willing to forgive. And, because relationships are at their most deeply satisfying when they are reciprocal, I long to live in relationship with people who will allow me to do the same for them.
But relationships don't always turn out that way. People are sometimes too busy to spend time with me. People sometimes roll their eyes at my jokes. People sometimes distance themselves from me when I cry, because it makes them uncomfortable. People sometimes minimize the value of my strengths, and focus on their frustrations with my weaknesses. People are sometimes apathetic about things that matter to me. And people sometimes respond in anger when they're hurt or upset by my actions - or silently withdraw, leaving me to wonder what happened, offering no opportunity for restoration of relationship. And that can really hurt - especially when it's someone I really care about.
In spite of these painful experiences, and the busyness of life, I refuse to give up on people and my desire to cultivate day-to-day, soul filling relationships, because I believe my desire for relationship is God given - and one of the ways I reflect the image of my Heavenly Father. After all, as I understand it, the very reason He created us is because He also longs to live in relationship with people who will take the time to draw close to Him. And, because relationships are at their most deeply satisfying when they are reciprocal, He reaches out to offer us the same. But His relationship with us doesn't always turn out that way. And by "us" I mean "me".
Far too often, I somehow expect God to be satisfied with far less than what would satisfy me. I get "busy" with other things and don't make spending time with Him a priority. I neglect the things that bring Him joy and I turn my eye away from the things that make Him weep, because they make me uncomfortable. I grossly under-value the ridiculously generous blessings He has poured out upon me, while focusing on my frustration with what it seems He has failed to do for me. I take a passive stance in regard to the things that matter to Him, because it might require inconvenience or sacrifice on my part to do something about it. And while, at times, I find the courage to be honest with Him about the way I've perceived His actions (or apparent inaction), it can be all too easy to withdraw from Him, questioning His heart and fearing His intentions. And I have to believe that really hurts Him - because He really cares about me.
Gratefully, in spite of these painful experiences, God refuses to give up on me and His desire to cultivate day-to-day, soul filling relationship with me, because that's just who He is.
